By Rain Cloud

Today we celebrate the anniversary of Ulrica Thrale and her discovery that the moon was made out of cheese. The Discovery was to the astonishment of her civilisation and many people believed that the whole thing was a creation of her dreams. Fortunately, a great scientist spotted her on the moon just days after her announcement and proved them wrong. 

Accounts of her voyage are limited and deceitful as she only returned to Earth for a small number of days. The trip was made in an abandoned Soviet Space Rocket (SSR) and it is said that she arrived on the Moon during a waning crescent, limiting her stay to less than a week. Her ancestors make the claim that she left only minutes before the old moon waned into nothing and that she therefore narrowly avoided being lost to the emptiness of space.

Shortly after her return to earth, Ulrica retreated to a Jazz club downtown and influenced the movement that is now known as Cheese Jazz. Parallel to these events the members of Apollo 11, the original moonwalkers, were called to answer for their failure to observe cheese on the moon. Neil Armstrong went into hiding. Buzz Aldrin, who for unknown reasons is still alive, maintains that he was asleep when Apollo 11 arrived on the moon and therefore never explored its surface.

The Discovery upset many scientists and realists who had understood such findings to only be possible inside the realm of dreams. They condemned what they described as dreaming thinking. Many people were also troubled by the regressive nature of The Discovery as it prefigures the invention of cheese on Earth and consequently unlocks the universe to the possibility of a regressive time dimension, one in which death precedes birth and noise echoes from the future. During the initial period of discontent the Moon’s shine was noticeably weaker.